My God.... It's Full of Stars...

I did it. I finally did it. I signed up for Marvel comics online. Now I can read through their library of thousands of comics in beautifully scanned gloriousness... What's even better is that if I pull up an old issue of, say, Uncanny X-Men to get the background of a particular character, they'll also let me know if that series of issues has been reprinted in a trade recently so if I wanted to own them in hard copy format, I could. But I like that this gives me a chance to read some books that I'd never bother to buy--never will I be bored on the internets again!

The tipping point was helping our collections department go through a collection of comics acquired from a local business scion's family on Monday. We wanted to grab some stuff that was likely to get used in the exhibit, and since I have a lot of basic knowledge about comics from the era during which this collection was amassed, I got to be the helper bee. Which meant in the course of about 7 hours I looked at the covers of probably about 10,000 comics. Mostly Spiderman, Batman, Superman, Hulk, X-Men in all their various stripes, and Fantastic Four--but plenty of other stuff too. It was great fun, pulling out suggestive or otherwise entertaining covers to show each other--Spiderman covers from the 1970's are endlessly hilarious--and of course tons of it was a trip down memory lane for me. I started collecting around 1985 or 86, and spent about $20 a month on comics until around 1996 or so. The collection we were picking up was amassed by a guy about my age, who spent more like $200 a month on comics during that exact same period of time. Our tastes were similar; so many of the books he had, I have, and I remember reading them with great fondness.

Might be time to drag out the longboxes and start reading from the beginning....

The Things That Pass For Knowledge...

Is it just me, or is there some sort of strange Steely Dan convergence going on in local radio at the moment?

I'm serious, every time I get in my car and flip through my radio stations, there's Steely Dan. And I've got nothing against them, mind you. I enjoyed them a lot back in the 80's, and I'm always happy to sing along with Reelin' In the Years now and then when I happen across it. But in the last two weeks, it's like there's some kind of Perfect Storm of Steely Dan on the radio. I noticed it at first when I'd be driving to work in the morning and hear I Got the News, and then on the drive home 8.5 hours later I'd hear it again, or another one just like it on a different station. Now it's to the point that when I got out of the car at Trader Joe's this evening, Black Cow was on 103.9; I got back in the car 20 minutes later and 93.9 is playing Deacon Blues. WTF, Steely Dan??? Why are you following me????

The likely possibility is that it's because two of the 5 stations I tend to listen to have recently gone to "Oldies of the 60's, 70's, and 80's" (and fuck you very much by the way, for including the 1980's in that format) and Steely Dan had a lot of hits in those decades. But I'm not hearing, say, America's Muskrat Love every day or two.... I'm not hearing the electronic stylin's of Duran Duran and Rio every time I start my car. It's weird, I tell you. Weird.

Apres Moi, le Snowluge

Supposedly, we're having a blizzard tonight. Supposedly. I am all stoked to be snowed in; fed my parents' birds and fish a little extra this evening in case I can't make it there in the morning; stayed a few minutes late at work getting a project to a good stopping point in case I can't get in tomorrow. And so? The snow?

NOWHERE. Not a fucking flake so far, and it's now 4 hours after it was supposed to start coming down with a vengence. I cannot even convey how disappointing this is, it's like there's some kind of forcefield around the city preventing me, personally, from receiving the promised snow. Even the weather radar shows that I should be up to my ears in it by now--but direct Window-Cam technology confirms that this is a massive load of bull crap. I'm so depressed I may just go to bed early in hopes I will wake up to a winter wonderland and the museum being closed. (That almost never happens, though. I'd settle for my car being encased in ice for the better part of the morning.)

I know, I know. If this is the worst thing I can complain about, I should be pretty damn glad with my life. But what can I say? I'm a cranky bastard. And I wants my snow.

Ashtanga? Geseundheit.

It wasn't a New Year's resolution (I don't do those, it just leads to sadness) but I did attend my first ever yoga class this weekend. I'm tired of being in kind of awful shape, and my friends who do yoga seem to like it. I've always been leery of it, as I've got no interest in the spiritual aspects of yoga at all; I've got a spiritual system that works very well for me, and while there's certainly nothing wrong with the philosophies behind yoga, it just doesn't really jive with my personality. But my friend the expert informed me that ashtanga yoga does not have to have a spiritual component to it--there's no chanting or meditating, just a very intense athletic workout over a series of stretches. So I figured, what the hell Archie, wotthehell? and set off for a Saturday morning class.

The most surprising thing for me was that it was a lot easier than I expected. By easier, I don't mean that it wasn't a serious workout--I am mighty sore today--but I was anticipating that there would be some positions I just Could Not Do, Period. And that was not the case at all. There were plenty of stretches where my limited flexibility prevented my going "all the way," but nothing where I couldn't get at least a semblance of close. A lot of the stretches reminded me of the warmups we'd do before fencing practice in college--same essential position and movements, but the stretches are held instead of doing 10 quick repetitions of the movement and going on to something else. The hardest part for me were the balancing positions--my problem sinuses mean that my balance even under ideal conditions is rather poor--but I didn't actually fall over or crash into the person next to me, so I call that a success. I'll probably go at least a few more times to decide if I want to make a regular practice of it. Assuming that my hamstrings return to normal over the course of the week, that is.

Well That Was Unexpected

This week I experienced a huge crest in hits from people following a link I left on this year's Cavalcade of Bad Nativities; it's been entertaining looking at Sitemeter and seeing a radical level of geographic diversity! So far my favorite hit is from "Export, Pennsylvania," which I think is a hilarious name for a town.
Tragically, many underprivileged countries around the world experience painful shortages of scrapple, cheesesteaks, and Lancaster County tourist items. This is why we have begun our program to Export Pennsylvania.

I've been enjoying my week off, though of course it's still ending too soon and I've got tons of stuff to do. Unfortunately I discovered a spectacular time-waster on K2XL.com a few weeks ago, and in the last week it's been an utter time suck. With that warning in mind, if you like spacial puzzles, here it is: Psychopath. It's a series of puzzles wherein you try to find the shortest path between point A and B on a grid; as you complete each one you gain access to a new level/puzzle. There are 72 levels, I am now on Level 45, and Level 44 must have taken me well over 100 tries to finish. Infuriating, invariably on the levels where I get stuck I am making just one dumb error that costs me a couple moves and yet it takes me forever to find that error. Needless to say, I love it even as I'm cussing a blue streak at my computer screen.

And There Were in That Same Country Jawas Abiding in the Fields, Keeping Watch Over Their Droids By Night...

Click the picture for the full view.

1. And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Jabba the Hutt, that all the galaxy should be taxed...
3. And all went to be taxed, every one unto his own planet.
4. And Darth Vader also went up from Coruscant, unto Tatooine, into the city of Mos Eisley, which is called a wretched hive of scum and villainy
5. To be taxed with Padme, his GFFL, being great with child...
7. And she brought forth her first born, twins, and wrapped them in Jedi robes, and laid them in a manger, because there was no room at the Cantina.
8. And there were in that same country jawas abiding in the field, keeping watch over their droids by night.
9. And Lo, Master Yoda came upon them, and the glory of the Force shone round about them, and they were sore afraid.
10. And Yoda said unto them, "Fear Not! Tidings of great joy I bring you!
11. For this day born in the city of Mos Eisley a Jedi, he is! Hmmmm?"
12. "And a SIGN unto you this shall be; find him, you will, wrapped in Jedi robes, lying in a manger. And he has....a sister! Yesss.... there is another!"
13. And suddenly there was with Master Yoda a multitude of rocking alien band members, jamming and saying,
14. "Glory to the Force in the highest, and in the galaxy peace, and goodwill toward all beings, men and otherwise!"

Curse You, Santa Claus!

I actually had to go out Xmas shopping tonight. After 14 years in retail at the holidays, if I never saw a mall again it would be too soon, and this is doubly true this time of year. The last couple of years I've managed to do all my shopping online and well in advance, so that when the holiday rolls around I do a leisurely bit of wrapping, put the presents under my tree for a few days for effect, and stress is kept to a minimum.

This year, however, is my first year with a real sort of an income in quite some time, and so I felt the need to thank my family for their love and support by going a little further this year--not overboard, just 2 CD's instead of 1, or a movie and a book as opposed to one or the other. I did my usual one-stop shopping at Amazon, only to find that their selection of Large Type books is awful and the one thing they had that wasn't boring or the Bible was out of stock. Plus mom wanted some kitchen stuff that I was too late to order from cooking.com... She's always hard to shop for anyway, I think one of the most successful presents I ever got her was a jar of Miss Scarlett's Olives because I knew it was something she would use. So tonight I braved the cold and headed out to Borders and Bed, Bath, and Buffoonery. Xmas shopping is always very stressful for me, if I don't find exactly the thing I'd had in mind then I get all sweaty and anxious trying to find a substitute, and I walk in circles around the store thinking if I just keep looking then the thing I had in mind will appear, mis-shelved in the self-help section or something. It never happens, though. So I stomp around with an expression of tense, barely contained fury on my face, frightening children and store clerks alike, until I suddenly come up with a new idea and go rabbiting off to see if I can find Thing 2. This can take way, wayyyy longer than I like to spend shopping; so it was a relief tonight that I found all the things mom wanted at the BBB (not the Better Business Bureau) in under 10 minutes. I did about 15 minutes in Borders before I broke down and asked a clerk to just TELL me if they had the book I was looking for in the computer (they did, obscurely shelved) and after another 5-6 minutes of line waiting, I was on my way back out into the cold and home to make chili.

So with all this grumping, what do I enjoy about the season? Why, a few rounds of Handbell Hero, of course! Thanks to SirValence and Bushi for that link, it's been hugely entertaining. Though I can't help but wish that this was real, too.....