Monday, February 12, 2007

Little Mary Gloom-shine

I'm fighting off a mood crash, and it's not helped by the fact that the entire downstairs of my house is an utter Pit of Despair at the moment. Everything from the den has been disgorged into the other 3 rooms down there, in order to make it possible for the gentlemen from the carpet place to remove my stinky and gross old carpet, and replace it with newer, fresh smelling carpet. Which is a great thing, and I'm happy about it, but the prospect of going through all the crap and disposing of the excess before reinstalling it in the room is..... well, depressing. Add to that the fact that I didn't get a call for job #2--not even an interview, at the place where I've been volunteering for 4 years and you'd think they'd at least give me a courtesy call for god's sake--and I'm beginning to strongly suspect I didn't make the cut for job #1. So my prospects for the summer are bleak. One of my friends keeps offering to get me a job at the brokerage house where he works.... and while the prospect of steady income is tempting, the thought of working there makes me cringe. Not my cup of tea, plus I just can't stand the thought of throwing away yet another degree. Why did I bother with grad school at all (I ask myself in my more frowny moments) if all that work and time and money isn't going to get me a job I like and want? Which means, the summer will likely be much like last summer--ie, a financial near-disaster, with correspondingly spikeing stress levels. Lord, but I'm tired of this.

This May will be the 5th anniversary of my losing my job at the Game Store. And while I do often get fed up and tired of my present situation, depending on my parents for money and working piecemeal jobs, I very seldom have any regrets about getting off that boat when I did. Though my leaving was not by choice, and though the experience was very emotionally painful and damaging in some ways, I think I'm far better off now than I would have been had I stayed. Even with all the frustration of unemployment now, it frankly beats one of my alternatives! So things aren't so bad after all.

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